Saturday, July 21, 2018

Even I don't know myself

They say they know me but how !!!
when even i don't know myself.
Sometimes I want to be beautiful ,
Sometimes I want to be bold ,
Sometimes I want to be childish & laugh out loud.
Another time I want to be sincere & care about my family and future.

Sometimes I want to sit alone somewhere & think about the
world , the beauty of nature, universe & live in my own thoughts.
I want to feel my soul till it's depth.
And just next time I want to get surrounded by people,
whom I love , who loves me even more.
I want to laugh with them whole day & whole night.
Laugh until my belly hurts & then just a bit more.

Many a days I feel like travelling alone & want to get
lost in some beautiful forest with the mother nature.
And into the wild I go to lose my mind & find my soul.
Just next time I feel like pulling and calling all
my friends to travel with me the whole world,
& together forever types.

Some people say you are kind of introvert  type
who loves her own company, loves her precious time,
& lives in her own world.
But some people say that you are kind of extrovert  you are very outgoing ,
like partying , going outside, getting mixed up with different people,
travelling & have a really big friend circle.

So you will consider me in which type!!An introvert or Extrovert ?Or Both??Is there any type of both??

I think yeah!!.... & they are called moody people. Lol :D
no, they are called ambivert people ;D
I'am both : introvert & extrovert.
I like people , but I need to be alone.
I will go out , vibe, & meet new people
but it has an expiration , because I have to recharge.
If I don't find the valuable alone time
I need to recharge, I cannot be my highest self.

Even I always wanted to be independent'
who never needs to depend on anyone for anything.
I want to learn by myself & earn by myself.

But what happens to this me
when I wants to depend on someone who will
always take care of me in whatever situation it is, & he will always be there for me,
He will save me from all the danger & will always love me.

At that time where's that independent me.
Then I again remember that no ..... somewhere
I thought of being independent, thought
of loving myself & thought of feeling confident in whatever I am.

So what you will consider who i want to be independent or dependent ??

I must say , beneath every strong, independent woman lies a broken
little girl who had to learn how to get back
and to never depend on anyone.

You say, you love me .... Really!!
No, you don't love me.
If you really knew me , you wouldn't love me .
You love who you think I am.
And don't pretend that you know me
because I don't even know myself.

If you really want to love me .....
Then love the way I am  <3 <3
I don't want you to love me, if
you don't wanna love me for me.

There is a famous saying - by Erin Van Vuren

" I will not be
another flower,
picked for my beauty
& left to die.
I will be wild, difficult
to find and impossible
   to forget. "  

I am that kind of girl , who will make you think twice about me.
I like reading but not the books,
I like reading people's mind ,observing them & learning from the nature.
I am the kind of girl who will play with the fire of my own truth,
& I will burn for the things I love.  <3<3

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

You were always growing

But here's the thing - You were always growing , even when it did not feel that way. 

When the world felt like a weight inside of your chest , you were growing.When the hands that held your heart fumbled with all that it was, when they thrust it back into your palms, when "i love you" turned into "i cannot say"- you were growing.

When it felt as if your hope was holding its breath,when all that was alive underneath your skin suddenly calmed, suddenly laid down it's arms- you were growing .You were growing in the dark, and you were growing in the damage.You were growing in the loss, and in the healing, and in all that was messy within your life. 

And I know; I know it was hard to recognize.
I know that sometimes circumstance can cloud judgement, that baggage can sometimes bury you .
I know that sometimes it is difficult to see the way you are blooming
from all of the missteps, from all of the mistakes, when you are rooted in the journey.

But i hope you see it now - how your past conspired to build you
into the person you are today.
How it made you stronger and softer at the same time.
I hope you see it now - how you were growing when you folded your hope into yourself
each and every night.

How you were growing when you fought to wake up each morning.
I hope you see it now - how you were discovering yourself.
How you were becoming ............  

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Wild souls

               Types of People 

Moon : Candid photos, listening to songs under a blanket ,
 scented candles, the glow of city lights past midnight ,
 picking a wildflower for yourself .  

Flower : Blushing from smiling too much , a bouquet of roses from a lover ,
 a wish on a fallen eyelash , love letters , giving your whole heart to someone ,
 birds singing in the morning.

Song : Blowing a kiss to the stars , potted plants and stacks of filled notebooks ,
 old magazines , walking down a street , sketching a stranger on the train ,
 silhouettes at 5 pm. 

Sunset : Messy scribbles on Polaroids , memories tinted with gold , 
80s music , a road trip with your best friends , cold soda in the dappled shade ,
 a shell from the beach five summers ago. 

Cloud : A million day dreams , the comforting scent of old books ,
 fresh sheets  after a  bath, fairy lights and fluffy cushions ,
 laughing with someone and being unable to stop. 

Mist : watching a small raindrop roll down the window , putting on earphones in a bus , 
staring at the ceiling and thinking about nothing , 
music from a time you'd rather forget .

Somewhere between all these types we all love being loved with the whole heart 
and endless emotions. People say we receive what we give.
So give love to everyone and get love in back from the universe.

Don,t wait for others to love you just keep on loving your life, 
and keep on loving everything & everyone around you 
and from somewhere that energy, that love will come back to you. <3 <3